breaking news

Being in another country, I rely on the internet for updates of Australian news such as who has just beaten whose wife etc.. The good folks at ninemsn.com.au try their best to cover all the important stuff, and put it on the equivalent of their front page.
The lead story today is for the benefit of all those not in possession of eyes and/or ears.
Appalling.


Anthony Callea admits he's gay
Monday Mar 26 05:00 AEST
By ninemsn staff
Australian Idol star Anthony Callea has finally put a halt to widespread speculation, revealing that he is indeed a homosexual.
"Yes, I am gay," Callea told the Herald Sun.
"I have no issue with my sexuality now, but it's taken time to become confident with who I am and happy with who I am.

Don't be too happy anthony.

Answer Your Mobile

It is very important to answer your mobile phone. Let me tell you how important. If I am having a conversation with someone, and my mobile phone rings, I will most certainly answer it. That person should just understand that they are less important than the new person who is trying to contact me.

If I was in mid-conversation with William Shatner, I would answer it.
If I was in mid-conversation with the Pope, I would answer it (I would also hand it to him and say "It is for you. It is Lucifer").

I was speaking to the Virgin Mary the other day (she appeared to me in my chamber – it was a miracle), when my mobile rang. Of course I had to take the call, holding up a finger to indicate to Mary to button it.

If I was in mid-conversation with Chuck Norris, I may pause before answering it. But that would be out of self preservation more than anything.

If I was hanging from a cliff by one arm with a love interest holding on for her life to my other arm below me, I would definitely take the call. It would be rude and a cop-out not to.

International pi Day

Today it is international pi day. (Using American date notation - 3.14 of 2007).

To celebrate, anyone who can tell me the formula for the
circumference of a circle will win a half an hour of hand-relief, to
be administered by Bevan McMerkin.

If you can also tell me the formula for the area of a circle, he will
administer the prize wearing nothing but a leopard-skin man-thong.

Best url 2007

http://www.papsmear.qld.gov.au/ - I put forward my vote for this url as "best url of 2007".

Clarkenegger

Look how Rambo is struggling, while Clark just laughs.
She is not even left-handed.
While I was pillaging the net for a photo showing Clark facing the right way and showcasing a bit of her mudflap haircut, I found out that kosher pez is available, if you want it.

The Clark Arm Strength

Corbs has done some excellent research there. Lets see what I am up against:


Note how the geezer is assessing Clark's bicep power. He's obviously heard about her exceptional arm-strength. That look she is giving appears to be friendly, but she is really saying to him under her breath, "Have a good feel boyo, because I could bounce you off that thing." Careful observers will note that another arm-tester (just out of the shot) is checking out the arm-strength of her other arm. He will have to let go soon, as she may well break his fore-arm (both bones). Now consider this:

See the strain on this guy's face as he tests Clark's arm strength. She is effortlessly matching his weak attempts to overcome her, but she is totally dominating the situation. And I daresay, she is considering whether she should do him an injury, just to teach him a lesson.

My Might

I am mighty. I have much might. You may have read somewhere that the pen is mightier than the sword. Well I am mightier than that pen. It is a puny little pen.

I grow more powerful every day. I am so mighty, I bet I could beat Helen Clark in an arm wrestle. I really am awefully powerful.

I just thought I had better let you all know.

Book Lending

I have learnt from experience that when you lend people shit, you only get it back if you ask for it. I actually issued a mate with a list of 10 books which I had lent him over the years. I got 3 of them back.

I now track where my books go and follow up with borrowers after a reasonable time. Lending to my brother is always amusing. The books always end up on his bookshelf. I think I need to define the word lend for him to better understand the concept.

The Devils Advocate (because every arseclown considers himself that) would say that the worth of a book is in its IP, and that once you have read it, it has no further value - so I should happily give away all my books. The Devils Advocate is a pigfucker. And although I find porcine fornication funny on paper, you're never quite the same after coming face-to-face with a bona fide pigfucker.