Stomp It

All I can say is, thank God for the new genre of tough guy dance movies e.g. Stomp the Yard. As you all know, I am the world's single greatest dancer EVER. Now I can also be recognised as the tough guy that I am as well.

Ditto

I'll never forget the day I discovered ditto as a young tyke*.

You mean, if I just put these two small parallel marks underneath, I don't have to write all that shit again? Fucking colossal!!!

I love ditto. It just keeps on giving. It's like that childless uncle that wants to spoil the crap out of you. I bet if ditto was a person, it would hate cats too. I could sit down and watch sci-fi with ditto. I know it would be into that. It would get me awesome birthday presents, like a huge poster of Walker Texas Ranger. I'm sure it would bring in the chicks too.

Ditto is the best. It wins!

* cool word tyke - rhymes with dyke and kike.

Good Friday mixed grill.

It's Good Friday and this is what I'm having for lunch, and probably dinner. (I won't eat the stupid chips on top, or the pointless rosemary.)

breaking news

Being in another country, I rely on the internet for updates of Australian news such as who has just beaten whose wife etc.. The good folks at ninemsn.com.au try their best to cover all the important stuff, and put it on the equivalent of their front page.
The lead story today is for the benefit of all those not in possession of eyes and/or ears.
Appalling.


Anthony Callea admits he's gay
Monday Mar 26 05:00 AEST
By ninemsn staff
Australian Idol star Anthony Callea has finally put a halt to widespread speculation, revealing that he is indeed a homosexual.
"Yes, I am gay," Callea told the Herald Sun.
"I have no issue with my sexuality now, but it's taken time to become confident with who I am and happy with who I am.

Don't be too happy anthony.

Answer Your Mobile

It is very important to answer your mobile phone. Let me tell you how important. If I am having a conversation with someone, and my mobile phone rings, I will most certainly answer it. That person should just understand that they are less important than the new person who is trying to contact me.

If I was in mid-conversation with William Shatner, I would answer it.
If I was in mid-conversation with the Pope, I would answer it (I would also hand it to him and say "It is for you. It is Lucifer").

I was speaking to the Virgin Mary the other day (she appeared to me in my chamber – it was a miracle), when my mobile rang. Of course I had to take the call, holding up a finger to indicate to Mary to button it.

If I was in mid-conversation with Chuck Norris, I may pause before answering it. But that would be out of self preservation more than anything.

If I was hanging from a cliff by one arm with a love interest holding on for her life to my other arm below me, I would definitely take the call. It would be rude and a cop-out not to.

International pi Day

Today it is international pi day. (Using American date notation - 3.14 of 2007).

To celebrate, anyone who can tell me the formula for the
circumference of a circle will win a half an hour of hand-relief, to
be administered by Bevan McMerkin.

If you can also tell me the formula for the area of a circle, he will
administer the prize wearing nothing but a leopard-skin man-thong.